Service Above Self
She tiptoed out of the dark room to the rhythm of their light snores and gently shut the door. At her desk, she switched on her lamp and quietly got to work.
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Serving others before even oneself is a quality of altruism and a true virtue for the believer. It requires a positive attitude and a demeanor of Ihsan to help others before seeking one’s personal interests.
The Prophet (s) said: “None of you truly believe until you love for your brother what you love for yourself.” (Bukhari and Muslim) This "golden rule" of Islam is fundamental to service over self. To call ourselves believers is not enough. Rather, we must want for others all that we want for ourselves. Yet the hadith does not say "give to others and deprive yourself," but rather sincerely wish that others may have what you yourself desire and may likewise have. Islam is a religion of balance; both service and self are important, and a balance between the two is key. Being able to actually provide for your brother or sister is not even mentioned—what matters is the intention to do so once you have the means to provide them with that which you yourself covet. It is a matter of the heart, and we cannot serve others until our hearts are first properly aligned.
Being in the position to serve others is a blessing and a privilege. The Prophet (s) said: “The upper hand is better than the lower hand. The upper hand is one that gives and the lower hand is one that takes.” (Bukhari & Muslim) This hadith highlights the beauty of service over self, an important reminder that to be in the position to serve others is always the better position. For this, we should be abundantly grateful. It is our privilege as well as our responsibility to serve others, and that is in itself a blessing. When we look beyond ourselves and serve others, we take on a purpose that is greater than ourselves. This is not just noble but also tremendously fulfilling.
We should also remember that service above self begins with the self. Allah has taught us that nothing will change until we change ourselves first. He says, "Indeed, Allah will not change the condition of a people until they change what is in themselves."[Al-Raad:11] Service over self begins with improving ourselves so that we can effectively serve others. In doing so, our service efforts may be successful and blessed. Only once we are actively working on ourselves can we leave our egos at the door and do what is best for the people we wish to serve.
Additionally, since wisdom is the lost property of the believers, we can reflect upon these words from Mother Teresa; "I used to pray that God would feed the hungry, or do this or that, but now I pray that He will guide me to do whatever I'm supposed to do, what I can do. I used to pray for answers, but now I'm praying for strength. I used to believe that prayer changes things, but now I know that prayer changes us and we change things." Indeed, to bring change in the world, we must change ourselves first.
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She looked up from her paper and paused for a moment of reflection. Her children were such a gift. Alhamdulillah. Many were not as fortunate to have a cozy home, plentiful food, and healthy children, she pondered, a reality she did not want to take for granted. "Thank You Allah for Your generosity that I don't deserve. Please make me a vehicle to do good work for Your sake alone before my days are over. Allahumma istamilni wa la tastabdilni." Now where was I, she thought, returning to her paper.
"To the orphans..." she wrote.